we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
