I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
