Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I understand Curling. That high.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
