loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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