she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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