New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
