all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I would ride that face into the sunset
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
