Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
