you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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