I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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