Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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