She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
