You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
