So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
