batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
