so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
