i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
