I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize