You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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