I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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