just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
