one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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