your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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