My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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