508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
