If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
