Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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