It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
