Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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