you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You took a bar mat shot.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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