Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
