Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
