Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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