I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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