A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
