dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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