Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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