well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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