What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize