Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im holly from the hills drunk
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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