Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
