she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
