Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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