Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
