the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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