Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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