The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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