Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
