hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
