so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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