Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
