dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
