if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
