i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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