I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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