I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
