her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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