just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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