you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
