they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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