I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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